Very Punny
by JTheGoblinKing
Summary: After hearing one too many puns about ghosts and skulls Bob- TV show version- finally snaps.


Hrothbert of Bainbridge (Bob) had heard them all... Once anyone ever found out about him and what he was; the ghost bound to his skull, that's when THEY started...

And he had heard them all...

At some point when very bored Harry had written a list of them.

'Bad puns related to Bob:

When Bob is confined to his skull for long periods of time (which has surely happened in the past) do you think he gets bored out of his skull?

Bob couldn't hear Dresden calling him. You know he's thick skulled.

Bob knows how to get a head in life.

When Dresden found out Bob had used his credit card he didn't get angry. Instead he decided to take Bob bowling. However at the bowling alley heads would roll.

After a long night of helping Dresden with his potions Bob is dead tired.

When Bob gets aroused he's dead on.

Bob's part of the Dresden file script is written in large print. The writers figured he needed head lines.

Bob can't help with any decent spells. He's too much of a bone head.

Bob would have had a song and dance number in the first episode but after all that filming he was dead on his feet.

Bob is a head above the rest.

When Dresden realized Bob was just a skull he decided to take him to a body shop.

Bob is always so grave.

When Harry's cross with Bob he feels he has a bone to pick with him.

All of Bob's ideas are bone headed.

Dresden won't loan Bob money because he's such a dead beat.

Murphy considered arresting Bob. She had him dead to rites.

When Dresden is in trouble Bob is handy as his ghost writer.

Bob worked for a restaurant some years ago. He was the head waiter.

When watching X-files Bob loves the character of Skully.

Bob is the head of Harry's wizarding business.

Bob would go to the Emmy awards but he knows he doesn't stand a ghost of a chance.

When Bob is attracted to a girl he finds himself getting a bo... never mind.

Bob is so hard headed.

Of course Bob has another job besides being Dresden's slave! At night Bob is the head cashier at Wal-mart. Yes, he's the head of the skeleton crew.

Bob doesn't have any Body to love.

Bob has an instant messenger account with AOL but he's always ghosting.

A powerful dark wizard asked Dresden if he would sell him Bob to which Dresden replied 'I'm not going to give up the ghost.'

The only reason why they won't have Bob sing on the show is because he's a dead beat.

Bob would challenge Dresden in a wizard duel but he doesn't have any guts.

Bob's not allowed to use the phone anymore. He kept making prank calls on Dresden's line. Everyone knew it was him. When they compared him to the voice of the prank caller they realized he was a dead ringer.

Bob lost his head over a pretty girl.

It's good to send a drunk to kidnap Bob because he always knows to ask Where do you keep the spirits?

When Desden's uncle took Bob he was spirited away.

Dresden had plenty of Christmas spirit. Dresden was given Bob's skull in his Christmas stocking. It would have been fine if Bob's last boyfriend wasn't still trying to get into the Christams spirit.

Bob's favourite Oscar Wilde story is The Canterville Ghost.

Bob worked on the graveyard shift at McDonalds.

Bob went on holiday last autumn. Dresden had no Halloween spirit.

Bob would go out on a date but he has a splitting headache.

Bob once had a boyfriend. He kept trying to get into the spirit of the relationship.

Bob's the head of the board, the head of opporations for a major company.

Bob didn't say his line on cue during Dresden files. He forgot his dead line.

Bob just finished making a new potion. Bone-appetite.'

Harry was out shopping when Bob read over the list of puns. His hands were clasped behind his back. He wore a stylish dark charcoal black suit as he leaned over the paper and read over the annoying and wincibly bad puns.

Bob groaned audibly when he read over the list. He couldn't believe Harry had written this painfully bad tripe!

That's when Harry walked in.

'Hey, Bob!' Harry called cheerfully. 'You know you're a dead ringer for-'

Before Harry could finish Bob snapped. He finally couldn't take it anymore. The bad puns had finally gotten to him. 'I AM SICK OF THESE BAD PUNS ABOUT MY BEING A GHOST, DEAD AND OR BOUND TO MY SKULL! Harry, I have been dead for over one thousand, one hundred and eight years! Don't you think I have heard every crude, uncreative, bad, insensitive and rude joke about my situation!? Yes! Yes! I'm a "dead ringer." Ha bloody ha!'

It felt good to finally get that off his chest. He seemed to sigh.

Harry stared at him blankly. He blinked his eyes a few times. 'Uhh... Actually I was just gonna say you're a dead ringer for Broadway star, Terrence Mann.' From out of the shopping Bag Harry held up a Playbill he had found lying in the street. It was clearly for Les Miserables and Harry's thumb held it open to the actor bio page for a man that Bob felt looked quite handsome, with white hair and light eyes.

'Oh...' Bob said. He suddenly felt foolish. 'I'll be in my skull.'

'You know...' Harry said 'Maybe you should BONE up on your people skills.'

Bob winced.

The End.


End file.
